Michelle Explains How Kindness & Awareness Can Help With Breastfeeding

I would love to say that my breastfeeding journey was wonderfully positive however when my children were born I remember lots of positives but for as many positives there were twice as many negatives.

I'm not ashamed to say that I really struggled with negative self critical thoughts which often really had an impact on my own wellbeing. 

Thoughts and negative commentary such as "I'm not good enough," or  " my body mustn't be producing enough milk"  made me feel like a failure especially when I would feed and my baby would cry afterwards. 

I now know however that what I was experiencing was not uncommon despite at the time feeling alone in my thinking and my suffering.

As parents , we can often be self critical of ourselves at some point or another and this can lead to further deteriorations in our mental health and wellbeing. 

It's normal to experience more anxiety during the pre and post natal period. According to the Breastfeeding Network 1 in 10 of us will experience a significant anxiety disorder at some point in our lives and this can increase during pregnancy and the year after.

My journey of becoming a Breastfeeding Peer Supporter has really shown me just how common self criticism is during the breastfeeding period. I just wish I would have known what I know now, as it would have helped me so much. 

One thing that can be transformative when it comes to breastfeeding, is the implementation of mindfulness. 

Mindfulness teaches us to be aware and kind to ourselves. It shows us how to show ourselves compassion and kindness without creating additional suffering. Compassion and self love are one of the most important qualities we need to possess as humans and its so important to understand this.

This can be applied during our breastfeeding journey. If we can become aware of negative thinking and how it causes suffering, we can instead choose to show ourselves compassion and kindness. We can learn to be present and accepting of each moment. 

The problem is that alot of our suffering happens when we have negative thoughts or when we project our anxieties into the future or we ruminate on the past. This is known as secondary suffering in mindfulness terms and causes alot of unnecessary distress. 

When we focus on the present moment with kindness and acceptance, our experience is as it is and we don't add anything extra. Moment by moment we are experiencing life as it unfolds. When this happens we can enjoy our experience and this way of 'being' has been shown to reduce anxiety and distress especially when it comes to breastfeeding.

So if I could go back and give myself some advice it would be to practice mindfulness and to show myself kindness.

I wanted to share with you a really simple and effective mindfulness practice to help reduce anxiety and suffering.

Before you feed your baby,  tune into your breathing. By noticing your breath and listening to it you can begin to notice how your body is feeling. One of the things we don't realise is how much tension we hold in our neck and shoulders whilst breastfeeding. 

Sometimes you might not realise your holding your breath before bringing your baby to your breast because you might be thinking of pain or discomfort. By this practice of tuning into your breathing it could help with achieving a more comfortable latch.

Breastfeeding is also a wonderful opportunity for meditation. Often mums say I haven't got time to meditate however as meditation is really just paying attention, you can use your time feeding your baby as a meditation practice.

Try this...

Notice and tune into your baby's breathing as well as your own. Notice how they feel in your arms, the noise they make whilst feeding and the smells around you both. All of this can strengthen the bond even more between you and your baby.

I hope this helps and remember you are amazing! 

Michelle x